KABUL -- As Afghans dug trenches and fled cities en masse fearing a gigantic American reprisal for the terrible terrorist attacks made against America Tuesday, Taliban officials have announced a new national slogan to call together and strengthen its people.
    "Our original slogan was 'Allahu Akhbar,' which means 'God is Great,'" said one Taliban official. "We felt the change to 'Oh, Shit' was the best way to express the national sentiment at the moment."
    "Sure we protect Osama bin Laden, whom we believe innocent, but that's not what's important now," said one Afghan while hording food at a local market. "The important thing is that everything sucks even more than it did before -- if you can imagine that's possible," he continued.
    The national anthem has also been changed to a series of obscenities and the state bird is dead.