PALO ALTO, CA -- For the first time in history the internet search key word "sex" dropped off of the charts in the wake of the terrorist attacks of September 11th, instead being replaced by news relared items. The word had always been in at least the top ten.
    "The internet was invented for sex and it's a disgrace that it is being used this way," said Eric Schmidt, CEO of web search service Google. "These are hard times."
    Many experts agree. "The internet wasn't intended for the delivery of relevant news and media information," said a CNN senior media analyst Jeff Greenfield. "It's a much better medium for porn and erotic literature."
    At the same time as the decline in demand for erotic material, traditional and online dating services are experiencing a surge in sales.
    "People need relief," said spokesman of Match.com Trish McDermott, "and this is one problem jerking off won't get you out of."