LOS ANGELES -- In what traditionally would be a world-shaking fanfare, actual world-shaking has disaffected millions of viewers around the world from the star-studded boutique.
    Across the world, bombing campaigns commenced against shadowy enemies in Afghanistan, entering the free world into a new era of the uknown. Terrorist leader Osama bin Laden appeared on television in person, rallying the Arab world against the United States.
    In addition, Los Angeles itself, the host city of the event was shuddered by a minor earthquake that would have otherwise been front page news.
    "Yes, normally I would watch the Emmy Awards to my death," said Margerie Almondia of Olympia, Washington. "I'm just afraid that might be a lot sooner than I previously expected."