WASHINGTON, DC -- In a press conference today the US coldly denied the Taliban might have acquired a movie agreement "of tremendous proportions."
    "I think we all know they haven't been the most trustworthy in their claims in the past," said Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfield, flatly. "There is no way they could've gotten a movie deal in the middle of wherever it is they are."
    Many analysts say that the Taliban's best asset right now may be the rights to a film adaptation of their experiences in the war on terrorism. Some media specialists say that the book rights alone could buy the rest of the country and half of Uzbekistan.