LONDON -- In a press conference today, Professor Xavier, founder of the X-Men, announced that Harry Potter will be joining the X-Men team in 2002. "We are very excited to have him on board," said Xavier. "It was a close call between Harry and that gay teletubby, but I think we made the right choice." When asked why he'd chosen to leave the exclusive Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry after only a single semester of study, Potter commented, "Hogwarts is full of bloody weaklings. I just want to kick ass."