CAPE CANAVERAL, FL -- Early Friday morning, the bio-warfare agent anthrax was found on mail at the headquarters of the Federal Reserve in Washington.
    Fed Chief Alan Greenspan was immediately dispatched by NWO (New World Order) agents to an "undisclosed" location somewhere on the Earth's Moon. The Federal Reserve has explained that this is a "routine" exercise of the Fed's emergency plans in case of an assassination attempt on the life of the chairman of the Board of Governors.
    "Mr. Greenspan is doing well, and taking to weightlessness quite speedily," said a Fed spokesman. "Even in outer space, on a super-secret moonbase, our priorites of monetary stability and growth remain unchanged." The bank has reiterated that Greenspan will still be able to use market instruments to execute monetary policy.
    So far there have been limited reports of Mr. Greenspan's escort ships being gold-colored, heavily armored, completely silent and having the ability to change their volume and mass at will.