WASHINGTON, DC -- Yesterday, tribal fighters declared victory of the last al Qaeda positions, with the help of US bombing wiped out large branches of their positions and overrunning the most hard-core holdout battalians.
    After the dust settled this morning, US Officials are asking, "Is bin Laden fucking dead yet?"
    "I mean really, is he dead yet or fucking what?" asked Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz.
    "And if so, where is his body and if not where can we kill him now?" said General Tommy Franks. "I mean caves, Pakistan, where the fuck is he?"
    Many in the US public are asking the same questions. "I want to stop having constant worry of death," said a construction worker in the Bronx. "So that kind of information would be helpful to know."