WASHINGTON, DC -- President Bush today announced the US has no plans to move against Iraq, which he described as a global threat which needed to be dealt with imminently.
    "I want to assure everyone we have no plans to attack or invade Iraq," he said, "in which case we would consult our allies before doing so," adding, "and in which case we would probably attack from the West and East simaltaneously using the Price Sultan Air Base, the Theodore Roosevelt Carrier Battle Group in the Persian Gulf and another carrier battle group in the Mediterranean Sea."
    Bush explained such musings have always only simply been a hobby.