LOS ANGELES -- In a major upset in the Linux community, perl patriarch Larry Wall is set to replace Linux founder Linus Torvalds on the cover of the glossy GNUbeat teen rag for the first time in 16 months, say its editors. Perl is a wildly popular open source language optimized for scanning arbitrary text files, extracting information from those text files, and printing reports based on that information.
   
    "Larry is so dreamy," said Linux user Brad Heisingen, 17, web developer, "He has hot eyes and is so sweet to his mother." Brad may be one of the many teens already won over to Larry as his popular gains momentum with increasing popularity of the open source movement. Larry is the father of the perl, an open source scripting language that has proved explosively popular for unix systems. Next month Linux mag GNUbeat says it will place Larry on its cover, replacing long-time coverboy Linux founder and namesake, Linus Torvalds, who has held the last 17 covers consequetively.
   
    In addition to the cover article the publication will also feature an eight page pictorial spread featuring Larry walking along a beach wearing loose-knit wool trousers and trendy retro reed woven sandals, playing with well-groomed animals and yearning for a soulmate.
   
    According to Wall's internet home page, "My geek sex code is [y++++]. I have a few little rug rats to prove I've been there. Besides, with kids around, who has time for sex?"
   
    This is only the beginning of yet another rivalry in an industry with a history of rivalries. Prodigal son Bill Gates has been stroking his bad boy image lately in an attempt to regain the hearts of linux users, releasing several albums produced by trendy new producers. Though popular with some users the work have been attacked by Wired Magazine critic Rebecca D'Agastina. Speaking for the majority of her colleagues, she thinks the aging early 90's star won't fit in with the white-hot open source stars of today. D'Agastina told us, "Open source appeals to teens who are idealistic in part because the previous generation of nerds made enough money to pay for their children's hardware, software, shelter, food and bandwidth requirements before they were old enough to get a job. Now, ironically, jobs and money seem less important to them."
   
    The teens we talked to seemed to agree. "I think honesty is important in a man", said Bobby Wealkins, 15, systems administrator, "Showing your source is so sexy."
   
    Open source is not without its critics. The Oklahoma-based Software and Computing Family Council has often criticized open source for being just too sexual for today's kids. "Showing your source to anyone who asks is wrong and immoral. Your source is a special part of you that you should only share with your employer in the sacred bond of a non-disclosure agreement." The council is funded by The Heritage Foundation and Microsoft.
   
    Continued Wealkins, "His favorite terminal editor is emacs. And so is mine! We were meant for each other."
   
    "my @heart; pop(); for { $you; }" wrote William Goldstein, 13, CIO, in his secret, MD5 encoded diary file, "while ($i->am(&inside($you)) ) { $i->will( &explode() ); }"