by Anand Sahasranaman
   
    WASHINGTON, DC AND LONDON -- British Prime Minister Tony Blair was reportedly upset with the "callous" treatment meted out to him by American president George W. Bush in recent times. This resentment on part of the former arises out of Bush's refusal to pay his share of the British Prime Minister's flight tickets. Mr. Blair in his sojourns as the ambassador of the "coalition against terrorism" has covered most of Asia and is keen on travelling to Africa next. "Congo, Malawi and Equatorial Guinea have to be educated on the menace of terrorism," he intoned and also hastened to add, "These air fares on travelocity.com are so fucking exorbitant. How much longer can i dip into the national exchequer?". Blair, who has been flying non-stop around the world also feels that he has contributed a whole lot more to the campaign than Mr. Bush, who he says has only been "trying to look pretty for the fucking TV channels."
   
    Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, a stoic George Bush manly faced the criticism leveled at him. "Tony B is a pathetic loser," he whimpered. He also went on to stress the fact that Mr. Blair's shuttle diplomacy had served no purpose, except as a "lesson on sheer and conclusive failure". The president also reiterated that he would be "damned" if Blair got a cent out of him. He proceeded in authoritative vein, declaring the Prime Minister a "cheapskate" and demanded that he "quit whining". The emotionally incited genial Texan added that he had had enough of this and that "gentle Blair should shove his problems up his rectal opening." He concluded by saying that he could take up the role of the shuttle diplomat himself if he had so much as a clue as to who they were actually fighting and why. "But," he incoherently rambled, "I do know we are bombing the crap out of Afghanistan and that this is a threat to democracy and we will prevail."
   
    Reports just in from the House of Commons indicate that Prime Minister Blair took the extreme measure of feigning a coma this morning when questioned about the abject failure of his trips to Asia. Analysts are in complete agreement that no other leader has ever resorted to this unique technique before. Unconfirmed reports also say that the PM later booked extremely expensive tickets to America from travelocity.com, allegedly making a point, and is due to travel there soon to end the dispute with Bush once for all. Blair supposedly said between clenched teeth that he would "rearrange Dubyuh's mug so bad that his dumb drunken daughter will go sober." When asked about how this would affect the Afghan campaign, Blair averred, "By Jove, the campaign will not end before I visit Burundi and Raratonga." He finished up by describing GW Bush in not too glorious terms. "Arsehole," said the beleagured leader in that understated English way as he trudged back into the hospital to get further treatment for his "coma".