MOUNT SINAI -- Today, God spoke at a press conference where He stated He wished to "answer some long-running questions regarding My administration's platform." "Specifically, I would like to address the question about whether I possess a sense of humor." The existance of God's sense of humor has been challenged by scholars, theologians and morning radio DJs for the length of recorded history. He continued, "and the answer is, 'no, no I do not have a Fucking sense of humor.'"
    Many groups have applauded God's statements. The South Oklahoma Family Council responded to God's statement, "God has given us many gifts. We think that as God's creation it would be wrong to use many of them, including your sense of humor. There is nothing funny about being funny."
    "He gave us penises, vaginas and brains, and Lord knows we ain't supposed to use any of those." said Bob Dillons, tractor salesman. "It just ain't natural."