WASHINGTON, DC -- Ohio Democrat James Traficant's evil twin has eluded capture yet again, befuddling criminal investigators. So-called "Jim" Traficant is wanted for question regarding a series of bribery and other forms of fraud comitted in his non-evil brother James' name.
    "Whoever did this to frame Mr. Traficant, a good, honorable law-abiding citizen and lawmaker, is a serious detriment to the community and endangers his true and honest reputation," said an FBI spokesperson. "If someone did this to him, then who is to say someone couldn't affect the President or Vice-president in the same way."
    Traficant defended himself today. "The scumbag who did this will pay," he said on Capitol Hill. "I am an innocent, almost virginal man."