NEOTOKYO, 2535 -- That 70s show actor Ashton Kutcher is a living God, according to Art History student Transmebla Oretoa of NeoTokyo University. "He appaeared in his sitcom which took place in the 1970s," wrote Oretoa in a recent exam, "and at the same time appeared in movies and guest appearances on other shows which took place in the current day, with the SAME HAIR. Clearly this indicates Kutcher was representative of some omni-present, pan-dimensional theological being."
    She received no credit for her answer, according to her professor, "Because as it turned out" he said in a written statement, "Ashton Kutcher was actually the veiled reincarnation of Incubus as it was revealed in 2012, the year of the translucent locusts."