SACREMENTO -- This morning the state of California announced it had broken up, with its 34 million citizens saying they wanted to pursue important solo projects that held more meaning for them. The move was long rumored in tabloid publications and was considered imminent for years.
    "California was a great gig while it lasted man. I don't regret a minute of that state," said one Palo Alto resident. "But now it's time for me to develop myself as an artist separately from my millions of state-mates."
    Front man Gray Davis said in a written statement that the change was "regrettable, but for the best."