WASHINGTON, DC -- "We must make war on all the enemies of peace," he said, squinting. If confirmed by the Senate, the Mad Hatter will become the new Secretary of Defense of the United States. He scrambled atop the podium. "To be incredible is the way to make this war credible," he said, waving his arms wildly, at a press conference announcing the nomination.
    "Lack of proof is proof!" he shrieked in response to a reporter's question. The Hatter then demanded a dormouse and that tea be set immediately.
    Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld will be the new White House Press Secretary.