AKRON -- The world breathed a sigh of relief today as the entire Iraqi catalog of weapons of mass destruction was discoverd in the home of Akron, OH resident Aaron Blair, including 20,000 liters of anthrax, 30,000 liters of botulism and 500 tons of mustard gas. Also found was a remarkably convincing Saddam Hussein mask.
    "That's right," Blair said at the scene, without seeking legal counsel, "It turns out Iraq is sitting on an ancient Mesopotamian gold mine, and if US forces cleared out the Iraqi regime, the treasure would have been all mine!"