WASHINGTON, DC -- The Department of Defense announced today that lesbians would be allowed openly serve in the United States military, with aides citing the move as a potent morale booster to troops serving abroad.
   

Recruitment is already underway

    "Before, we may not have been all we can be without lesbians," said Joint Chiefs chairperson Richard Myers.
   
    "Now, we can be so much more with lesbians officially in the ranks of the US military. We welcome them with open arms."
   
    "We've always said that every able-bodied person should be eligible for military service," reacted C. Dixon Osburn, executive director of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network. "Doing so will enhance and better the whole of the American military by taking advantages of that groups special abilities and talents."
   
    "Let's face it: our troops need this."
   
    The move silences critics of the indecisive "Don't ask, don't tell" policy adopted during the Clinton administration.
   
    "Some say Clinton went too far," explained Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "We think he didn't go far enough."
   
    "We could even have whole lesbian units, with special uniforms and and weapons," mused Vice-President Dick Cheney this Sunday on Larry King Live. "The important thing is that the troops and lesbians are the most effective fighting force there is."
   
    Insiders say that such formations would undergo their own, rigorous training programs separate from traditional units. "They will go where no one else goes," one source said.
   
    Pentagon spokesperson Victoria C. Clarke also applauded the move. "Believe me, I've been waiting to hear this my whole life," she told reporters at a press conference on Wednesday.