WASHINGTON, DC -- With an abysmal, still sinking minority approval rating, Secretary of State Colin Powell made an attempt to speak to African-Americans in a new celebrity endorsement, in only the latest attempt by his administration to seek acceptance from the ethnic groups which loathe them. Sunday the President gave his radio address in Spanish, promising to learn to speak the English language himself as an example for Hispanic American children.
    "We are proud that Mr. Powell has chosen to stand up for something he believes in, and that includes malt liquor," said Bush in a speech. The endorsement spot is a prestigious post formerly held by such black icons as Redd Foxx and Billy Dee Williams.
    "I'm jus' layin' back, Maxin' and Relaxin' with my Colt 45!" proclaims Powell in the ad. "That's right, and it's only $2.45 for 40 ounces of bad-ass action," The Secretary then takes a sip of his beverage and says, "GodDAMN that's smooth."