MOUNT SINAI -- Speaking via spokesmen, God has warned that the Holy Fabric of American society will collapse and burn if gay marriage or so-called civil unions are allowed legal recognition in just three more American states. Official acceptance of homosexual wedlock has already taken place in both Vermont and Massachusetts.
    "Five is the center number. Shall the states number three more than two, and thy fields will run dry, thy cattle grow thin, but sort of metaphorically, if you understand my meaning. In short, all Hell will vaguely break loose." California, New York and Maine were explicitly mentioned as dangerous.