LOS ANGELES -- "Where is John Kerry?" cried campaign workers in anguish on Friday morning at Kerry headquarters. Rescue workers say they have given up their nationwide search for the Massachusetts Senator and presidential candidate.
    "Despite all efforts, Iraq spiralling out of control, Bob Woodward's book revelations, startling human rights abuses, nothing is making John Kerry show up on the radar," said a spokesman for the rescue effort. "The Bush administration has done everything it can to help in the search, but to no avail."
    "I first noticed something was wrong when Bush and Cheney insisting on testifying together," said a teary-eyed Mary Beth Cahill, Kerry's campaign manager. "Will someone just tell me what we have to do to make him come back?"