WASHINGTON, DC -- US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is actually an incarnation of the Hindi god Vishnu, it was revealed today.
    "I have taken deliberate descent into mortal realms for special purposes," Rumsfeld said in an eerie voice, sitting a lotus flower with his skin tinted slightly blue at a special press conference this morning. "Rama and Krishna have been prominent and beloved forms of the Immortal Being. The new Rumsfeld form is the first addition to the ten Great Avatars of Vishnu," he continued.
    "It's the first time a Defense Secretary has been a Indian deity," said cultural anthropology professor whoever at Colgate University.