WASHINGTON, DC -- US Attorney General John Ashcroft may begin wearing a black patch over one eye for cosmetic reasons, the Justice Department announced today.
    "The patch is to give him that sinister look, like a pirate or hornswaggler," said a Justice Department spokesperson. "Whether you're a terrorist, an erotica fan or a Supreme Court Justice, you don't want to mess with someone like that."
    An insider said a monocle was also considered, but was discarded because it didn't look ominous enough.