ATHENS -- The nigh all-powerful god Zeus has once again won the Olympic games. The deity has won every Olympic games since 775 BC.
    "I Zeus, son of Kronos, father of Apollo, Heracles and of Persius, did smote but all of my competitors, who were really not very good at all, and would really be a drag on Mount Olympus were they ever to go there," Zeus said at a press conference.
    "I, who knew things that were and the things that would be and the things that had been before, do say that I shall win every Olympics from now until for-ever and ever."
    NBC commentator Barbara Jones agreed. "Zeus is the greatest -- and it is likely that he will continue to win." Experts say that though Zeus' athletic achievements are incredible, they should not diminish the achievements of the other competitors.