WASHINGTON, DC -- Reportedly leading Philadelphia citizen and business man Nicholas Biddle has challenged Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan to a gentleman's duel late last night.
    "[President] Jackson caught me while my back was turned," said Biddle at a much-hyped press conference." The Second Bank of the United States could beat the Federal Reserve System with one hand tied behind its back."
    "Protectionist sentiment is foolhardy!" said an adamant Greenspan, "I'm gonna blow a hole in that mother fucker so wide you'll be able to watch the Nikkei index collapse on the other side."
    The duel will be held in front of the Bureau of the Treasury at noon tomorrow. Don King productions will be furnishing the weapons, handkerchief and a pay-per-view telecast for those unable to attend the event in person.